This Year… 2019

This year was a lot. Full of many ups and many downs.

As it was for many of us…

So, I wanted to write about it. Here it goes.

I wanted to write about my grandfather’s passing...

This stoic man who had done so much in his life – for him, his family, and the country.

But, I felt as though so many others around me lost many loved ones this year too. Devastating loses. Loses where we all wondered how we were ever going to bounce back.

It felt as though 2019 was out to get my closest family and friends…

…as we lost grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, cousins, aunties, uncles, God parents and the list goes on.

I guess it’s like this every year, for different people. The wheel just happened to fall on me and mine this time around….

I wanted to write about my grandfather’s passing.…

How I was on the other side of the world when I found out he was in the hospital. How I was 15 hours ahead when I got the call to say goodbye. Feeling sad and helpless, with my family hurting and being so far…

But then, I felt like I may be doing an injustice to all the others. People who passed that also meant a lot to me or to my family and friends. People who fought their own battles but lost at the end. Strong people. Loved people. Impactful people. I wanted to remember them too.

I wanted to write about the bitter sweet beauty of seeing such a wide spread section of my family. Reunited, for a sombre occasion. But appreciating my family’s strength for having a smile through it all, and enjoying the time we still had together. Enjoying the moments that the solemn occasion created.

2019 seemed to be my year of ‘Damn, so this is life’.

My grandfather’s passing being the first of many downs. My ever increasing travel opportunities to places I’d never imagined, being one of my many ups. 

It taught me that life is all about balance.

Life and death. 

Success and failure. 

Love and pain.

And we must tread it carefully. For the sad times, we can’t lean too fully into the darkness, as it’ll consume us. But, it’s okay to feel – sadness, anger, sorrow, grief….

And we must always appreciate the good days. Value the little things. Celebrate the major and minor moments. As they will gift us with the pockets of sunshine when all seems dark. And bring us back the balance we need to carry on.

To all those that have lost a loved one this year (or any year as a matter of fact), my heart goes out to you.

Do your best to fill your life with moments that make you smile for them and for you. And I hope you lean on the strength of your loved ones around you to get you through another year.

RIP Grandad Vincent ‘Tubby’ Derrick

RIP Uncle Stuart Griffith

RIP Taitu Goodwin

RIP Dr Prince Ramsey

RIP Alison Hull

RIP Brian Kelsick

RIP Uncle Charles ‘Bussy’ Derrick

RIP Jill Davis

To the end of 2019

Yours truly,

Global Gyal