A portrait drawing of my grandfather – Vincent ‘Tubby’ Derrick

I got a message from my mom at the beginning of March.

My grandfather wasn’t doing well and was in the hospital.

A VERY active 80+ year old that drove himself to work every day. A business owner and entrepreneur through and through. Ideas ALWAYS kept coming and he was ALWAYS workin on sumtin. Tinkering and experiments were his thing.

A trip to the hospital had happened once or twice in the past recently. Yet, he always made it out and was back to his daily routine in less than no time. 

Turns out, this time was different.

Instead of bouncing back, his health quickly declined.

This wasn’t supposed to happen….

I received a video call from my aunt

And it was to tell him goodbye. It was hard for me to process it all, as I struggled for the right words to say, to my grandfather who lay motionless with an oxygen mask on. It was hard for me to see him like that. A man who helped countless people, now laid helpless. His mind willing, but body failing.

Less than a day later, he passed in his sleep.

It hits you different when you know someone who’d looked out for you from birth would no longer be around.

Like a major tree in your wall of protection against the world just fell, so now there’s a hole…

Being so far away

I felt sad, useless and somewhat guilty, all at the same time. For being so far away from my family at a time like this. For not being beside my father when he got the news. For not being able to hug my aunts or comfort my younger cousins when they did too.

I kinda felt like I’d abandoned my family in their time of need. Like I wasn’t fulfilling my daughter/niece/older cousin role properly. What could I do from all the way over here?

But I did try… I called my father every day to check up on him, sent messages to my aunts and cousins to make sure they were getting through. I kept in contact with my mother to be sure I got updates. I didn’t want to miss any more than I already was from not being there.

I was going to be there for the funeral.

He was a forever present grandfather

We weren’t the closest, my grandfather and I, but we definitely had our moments throughout the years. He was also a staple in my life. He was there for birthdays, graduations, Christmas etc. and more often than not in his favourite shirt (what you see him pictured in above)! He always gave in the ways he knew how.

My grandfather was a very stoic man. He would happily engage in a worthwhile conversation with you, once you were brave enough to start it. It was only much later in my life that I began to do such, but I was very happy I did as I gained a lot in the few occasions. 

I learnt so much about him from his eulogy

Just how involved he was in the shaping of certain aspects of our country. How influential he was as a person. Making major milestones that impacted many people. Yet only few would know it was him. He was never one for the spotlight, but would always do whats right.

My grandfather would do. He acted. He didn’t just talk the talk. He walked the walk.

And I had to do the same…

He’d been there for so much in my life, I had to be there in one of the last celebratory occasions for his. It was a somber but beautiful occasion to be surrounded by so many family members. It was precious and priceless and I was grateful I was able to go. It was a time to celebrate his life but also relish in the time we now all had with each other. 

Rest in Peace Grandad. Rest in peace.


2 Comments

Aunty Kim · December 24, 2019 at 4:23 pm

A beautiful reflection Lyss! Well done. Much love

    Global Gyal · December 27, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    Thanks so much Aunty Kim!

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