Listening to Yourself.

I wrote a post a few weeks ago about “Being Yourself” (seeet dey -> story here), and a couple of my friends (thanks for reading my blog yall!) reached out to me and said, “Why don’t you include an example in the piece? Of how you were your true self?” They also said “You should write about “how” you listen to yourself, to do some of the things you do/did? That way, people could see how you did it and maybe find a way where they could figure it out for themselves.”

These were all valid points.

How do I listen to myself? / how does one listen to oneself?

People, dis ah one dyam good question.
(Translation: People, this is a reallyyyy good question)

This is my attempt to explain the how.
Hopefully it makes sense 🙂

Step 1. Take/Make Time to Think.

First and foremost, you must think. Sit. And think.

How ‘large’ your scenario is/ what you’re trying to listen to yourself about (what you want to do with your life in the next 10 years vs. what type of ice cream you feel like today), will determine how long you actually do this for/ how much time you actually spend on it.

Which brings me to my next point, you actually have to set aside time.

Time, to just think. Nothing else. It may sound easy, but it’s harder than you may believe.

For me, I need a space where I can be in my thoughts and assess my situation. More often than not, it’s in my bedroom (my safe haven) or a quiet space where I can make time to just sit and think. For you, it may be driving, listening to music etc. But, once it’s a space where you feel comfortable enough to clear your head, then you’re good to go.

Dedicating time to think/listen to yourself (in my opinion) is thee most important step in the process (other than the actual act of thinking of course).

Dedicate time to actually think. Commit time to think. Then think.

Next!

Step 2. Identify. Problem. Solutions.

What’s the issue? What’s the scenario? What’s the dilemma that’s causing a conundrum in your head? What do you need to listen to yourself about? What’s your heart telling you?

For me, let’s say there’s a scenario, situation or decision I have to make.

For instance, in 2014/15 I faced a semi major decision – what are you going to do with your life after you graduate from University? – Move home or stay in this new country? Get a job here or get a job home? Further my studies? Travel? Elope? Join a circus? What? What do you want to do?

In my head (after I sat and decided “Okay, time to think”), I repeated my “dilemma” aloud to myself, then came up with possible options to ‘solve’ or rectify the situation.

What are my choices? Which ones are available for me to take?

This is an important part to the process as well, because you have to be honest with yourself. You have to think about and include options that you actually want/are comfortable with. And sometimes that’s harder to admit to ourselves than we think.

In general, when I list my options, I add in realistic ones, but also ones I deem highly unlikely, sometimes even impossible. My wildest dreams and the ones that are ‘meh’. Options that are on the fantastic and middle ends of the spectrum.

[I usually don’t allow myself to think of the worst case/ my worst nightmare scenarios (okay sometimes maybe quickly, but I don’t dwell). I choose not to focus my energies on the negative and instead only on the good; what I want to happen instead of what I don’t want to happen. Law of attraction, ya know? But, I digress.]

When I do this whole ‘listing my options thing’, I allow myself to dream, but also bring myself back to reality. I feed the optimist and realist sides of myself. I give them both a shot.

Step 3. Listen.

As I weigh my options, I play each scenario and choice out in my head – the best, middle and meh choices and their results. I imagine the steps I’d have to do to take to make each choice happen, the short and long term effects (the ones I can predict anyways) etc, etc.

While I do so, I wait to see what feeling I get for that option from the organ that pumps blood around my body aka my heart.  How is it feeling? How is it reacting to this potential decision? Is it anxious? Peaceful? Happy? Sad? Miserable? Unsettled? Light? Tingly?

Knock knock heart, talk to meh.

Step 4. “Blanngggg”

No matter how “ludicrous” my potential choices and fully played out scenarios are (Like for my example above one of my options was to find a way to make money without a job (lottery?) or live on my friend’s couch until they kick me out), after playing them all out, I zone in on the option that gives me a content/good/happy/peaceful feeling.

I take that as what my “heart” says is right.

It’s at that moment, I’ve figured out what I want. What I truly want. It’s like a compass and it just hits north like “blanggggg”.

That’s “how” I listen.

More often than not, the answer is always something I’ve known. I’ve just done my best to block it out, not accept it because it’s “too crazy” or “impossible”. But I knew it all the time. Only difference is now I’ve created a space in my mind to actually imagine it as a possibility. (You may or may not be able to relate).

For my ‘what to do with life after university dilemma’, my 3 main options were to 1. move back home and get a job, 2. stay in this new country and get a job, a place to live and set up life or 3. travel around to different countries, (also join a marching band or just fail at life).

The one that made my heart go ‘TING’ was travel.

I wanted to spend time learning about what the world had to offer. And after much planning, working and saving, I eventually did take a trip and travel – but that’s another story for another time…

Point is, I took the time to figure it out. I listened to myself. I thought about and played out my options and decided which one I wanted. Which one made my insides go TING!

That’s how I listen to myself. And how you could too.

Yours truly,

Global Gyal

[FYI: Now, in the example I used, I listened to myself. I “did what my heart told me”as a great person I know used to say. I actually listened to myself, chose the thing I wanted to do and acted on it. However, it’s not all the time I do it ehh. So don’t feel a way if you do that too. It’s important that you at least took the steps to figure out what you wanted, even if you didn’t get to do it in the end. I may share a story or two about when I did the same another time 🙂]