One of THEE hardest things

This story was originally written on September 21st 2018, before Global Gyal was launched.

One of THEE hardest things to do, is to actually DO.

To some, it may come naturally.

But so many others struggle internally with the actual ‘doing’.

And, I’m included.

One can think of all the wonderful things in the world, and talk about it even more. But, when it comes to the act, what are they doing? What am I doing? (Nothing. I’m convincing myself that I’ll do it tomorrow).

With my blog, I had time.

But, my MIND built up this big barrier and basically said “Don’t work on your stuff ’cause you don’t know what you’re doing. It might all be trash, and everyone’s gunna think it’s fooly, and yuh ga shame”(Translation: “Everyone will think badly of your blog and you will feel embarrassed”). 

Essentially. 

That’s what I heard in my head.

I built up this big wall of fear and listened to this voice in my head.

The wall of fear is why I took 10 months to launch my blog.

The wall of fear is what stopped me from putting in the work every free moment I had.

The wall of fear was what was holding me back.

But, I’d also been chipping away.

I strapped on my wall climbing boots, harness and gloves that came in the form of encouraging words from my friends and family.

Each time I shared my fear (of launching the blog), they said something positive. They gave me some encouraging words that made me believe (if even for one blogging session) that I can do this – that I can create, launch and maintain a blog.

(Side note: This too is a whole thing in and of itself. Because, you have to be aware that you’re scared, and you have to be brave enough to be vulnerable to tell people you’ve been scared, so that they can give you some positive words and energy.)

So I chipped away. And…I did a little research, wrote a little story, even uploaded a photo. I got brave and even dared to ‘proof’ read a story and label it ‘ready’ in my head.

I let the website go live, without it even being ready (no announcement of course), just to get over the fear of actually launching it (**See note @ end).

In the end, the experience wasn’t the easiest on me, mentally.

I wished I put in the effort to go faster and get the ball rolling.

At the same time though, I guess I needed to go through this experience at my own pace.

Life lesson #435 learnt – Check ✔

And, if I was being honest…

Another thing that made me hesitant was that this was me, going out there.

I’m not a very vulnerable person. Yet, here I was creating a website where its prerequisite was just that – for me to be vulnerable.

That’s scary!!

To all the artists…

or anyone who’s ever DONE something, that was THEM, and released it to the world – yo, I respect you. The mental fight you may have had to have with yourself was probably the toughest one. It may have been the only one…

But when you climbed over it [the fear], and showed your work, in whatever way, shape or form, it must’ve felt great. You must have felt so proud and accomplished. Cause you did it. You did you. And you showed you to the world.

So, props.

I’m going to get to that point, very soon (speak it into existence).

And when I do, I’ll be able to revel in it too.

Yours Truly,
Global Gyal

Do you have a fear that you struggled with but were able to overcome? Something you wanted to achieve and finally did? Share your moment with me below in the comments. It’s always good to revel in your accomplishments. Being surrounded by a group of people who lift you up won’t hurt either *shrugs

Note #1 (as of August 20th 2019): I wrote this piece two months before I officially launched www.globalgyal.com after 9+ months of hesitancy. I’m happy to say that in two months, I can celebrate producing content and maintaining my blog for one full year.

It’s all about the small wins 👏🏽

Note #2 **in reference to making site go live: THANKS VICTOR! It was hilarious cause it was late at night and my friend Victor practically forced me [through words on whatsapp], to put the website live even though it wasn’t even half way finished. But just to get over that hurdle of having it ‘out there’.)