I haven’t posted on Global Gyal in 2.5 months.
Part of me can come up with a really good excuse – it was because I got really into editing videos. I channeled my energy, thoughts and creativity into the process, and just found it easier mentally to focus on one thing at a time.
I could say this and get away with it. It is the truth. A layer of it. The outside layer. And technically I don’t owe anyone any further explanation (this is a note to myself, not anyone really). But, I’m working on not being ‘shallow’ anymore. Sharing, being more open, being more vulnerable – that’s what I’d like to do.
And that’s what I have been doing over the past 2 months because I’ve been going to therapy.
Online therapy.
Sessions are flexible, on my own schedule, I can message, video chat, voice call whenever I feel like. It’s great.
I’ve actually wanted to go to therapy since I was in University (FIVE YEARS AGO). And I did. For like, two months. Then I stopped.
I went again about two years ago, just before I was about to leave one country for another – the greatest excuse I had for myself ’cause I was too scared – “Oh just go now. You’re leaving in a month. What do you have to lose?”
But as I said in my last post, just cause I’m physically at a stand-still (thanks covid), doesn’t mean I must mentally and emotionally be in one either.
I signed up for therapy to help me say things aloud that I didn’t even want to say to myself. Things that I refused to believe or was too scared to share.
Now that I’ve started, you know what I’ve found?
It’s helped me to share with people I care about. It’s like, a topic of conversation. You know, that casual, “How’s therapy going?” question. That gateway question I need, to make me feel like it’s okay to talk about these things. That space is here. They wanna hear. They’re open and willing to listen without judgement.
I appreciate all my friends and family who are on this journey with me. Your listening ears mean more to me than you know.
Now, I’m not gonna share exactly what it is I talk about because: 1. I’m not ready for that just yet (if ever) and 2. I gotta keep some part of my business private :D. But I am taking a step to share this with you. So, for those of you reading, thank you for sharing in this important step in my life. I know you want the best for me and are cheering for me wherever you are in the world.
Thank you.
But I wanted to share this with you ’cause:
- Y’all have created a world where I feel like it’s no longer a shameful thing to say you are going to therapy. Where we now put value on one’s mental health. Where I feel comfortable enough sharing my personal business like this, as a means of connecting with you all, telling you the truth, keeping you up to date, but also encouraging you to if you feel it is necessary and will help you do the same.
I saw this ‘Facebook wise words’ (as a friend would call it) quote the other day:
By Nick Komodina on Twitter (shoutouts to you Nick, who ever you are)
“Even if you don’t think you need it, go to therapy.
If you want healthy relationships with people, go to therapy
If you want to be happy as yourself as a person, go to therapy
If you want to break a toxic cycle, go to therapy
If you’re reading this, trust me, go to therapy.”
So as I work on my emotional and mental state, I encourage you to if you have the time and the means, take care of yours.
Feel free to check out betterhelp.com if you’re curious (about online therapy) and message me to ask me about the nearest place you may be able to go in person. I may not have the exact place, but I’d try to help to find a place to start.
Thank you for your time and patience during this time too.
I’m coming to realize my mental state is being taken up by me working on my extra stuff instead of me channeling it into the blog. So thank you for understanding that. You’ll know when I’m back 100% on the blog. Ya won’t miss it. (Feel free to check out the YouTube channel though. That’s still going every week. You won’t find as much ‘reflective’ pieces, but it’s still Global Gyal through and through)
Thank you for keeping this between me and you Global Peeps.
I appreciate you.
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