Y’all know how I does always preach “Take the leap,” “Believe it. Act on it. It’ll happen,” “Do it!”.
Yeah, all that nice stuff?
It’s something I learnt along my journey and a big part of what’s gotten me so far (literally & figuratively).
Recently though, I wasn’t putting it into practice 😔. And it wasn’t until a really good friend of mine, (Thanks Khalil), brought me to my senses and reminded me to.
As I mentioned in last week’s post,
My present travel situation is a bit of a question mark; with visas and staying here in Australia, I’m not certain what my future holds. In true Alyssa fashion, in times of stress, I go straight into overthinking mode – no stops in between.
I vented my anxiousness about the whole thing to my friend and he said “You’ll get through it. Isn’t this what you tell everyone to do? Believe it will happen and it will? Either way, you’ll be fine.”
I knew it was true.
I knew it was how I should be thinking.
But my brain refused to go through the process.
And after a bit more prodding and reflection, I realized it was because I was scared.
I was scared my visa would be denied and I’d have to leave Australia. Scared of heading to a different country, where the certainty of my typical days and weeks would disappear.
I wouldn’t know how long I’d be there. What would my income look like? (actually I know, it would be $0). What would my routine would be? Would I be stuck in quarantine or would I go home to Antigua (when the borders opened)? Would I continue my travels afterwards? Could I afford to?
SOOOO many questions and SO many unknowns would be at bay, waiting for me, if I was forced to leave Australia. I was terrified.
And I REALLY wasn’t ready for it.
I was scared of the unknown.
My fear wasn’t allowing me past this threshold. The one I needed to break through and get to my calm, my assurance that everything would be okay.
My friend recognized this and brought it to my attention. He straight up called me out on it and reminded me to ‘practice what you preach’. And after about the fifth time of explaining it (ma harden), it hit me.
He was right.
Either which way the tables turned, I’d be alright.
I’d have a safe place to stay, wherever I ended up. I’d be able to find my bearings and figure it out from there. And that’s a blessing.
I needed to say it would happen. Think it would happen. Know it would happen. And if it didn’t, that’s okay. I’d have to make peace with that.
Y’all, it’s SO easy to get caught up in your head.
To fall off track, forget the mantras, thought processes, and positivity you fed your mind over the years. The fragile stability you so carefully created in your head, gone. Just like that. Fear can make you do that. It can make you forget your very way of thinking and swap it out with anxiety. Quick quick.
Nonetheless, if you have people who hold you accountable – remind you of who you are and what you’re capable of, ya good to go. People who have your back and take care of you in tough times. They’re the winners.
I know I have that.
In Australia, in Canada, in Antigua. And I’m sure a few other places too.
That alone brings me enough comfort. Knowing that whatever happens, I’ll figure it out.
And when I do, I’ll be back on track before you know it 🙂
Thanks to all my family and friends who keep me going.
I love you all.
Yours truly,
Global Gyal
0 Comments