I stressed myself out BIG TIME.
And it was all me….
You know how sometimes when you’re sick, you turn to google? You research your symptoms and 5 minutes later your small cough is now because of this gigantic tumor and you fear you only have hours to live?
Well, because of google and my own imagination, I gave myself at least two months of restless nights. 60 days of all consuming thoughts. 1,440hrs (give and take) of worry, stress, panic and the lot.
And I didn’t just keep it to myself.
I brought my family, friends and family friends all in on my panic.
And as the days got closer, I swear I went from 0 to 100 into full blown panic mode.
I refused to listen to any reassured thoughts and instead spiraled and created my own story of the worst case scenario, that would haunt me in my dreams, in the shower, and any free moment my brain had really.
It costed me too.
It costed me close to $300 in fees.
My peace.
My ability to be there for my friends and family in their time of need.
My concentration.
My ability to think of anything else but this ‘situation’.
Now I can’t go into much detail (sorrryyyyy)
But it had a lot to do with immigration and my travels.
I was so unsure of the outcome because it felt like it was all out of my hands.
Anyone who has ever been in this situation (which many of us Caribbean people – and any traveler as a matter of fact), probably has had their own similar experience. Not knowing what could happen and each action possibly having ‘life altering’ decisions.
Your stability is gone. The comfort you took in knowing exactly what would happen, where you’d be, what you would do is no longer there. The solace you took in this knowledge has vanished and all you’re left with are stressed thoughts and actions.
You don’t realize how much of a luxury it was to have that knowledge, that certainty, until it was no more.
And, it was hard to keep it to yourself. And so easy to get everyone around you wrapped in it.
I can safely say it was one of the few times I’d been that stressed in my life (which I know is a blessing). And I could see how constantly feeling this way could damage one’s health.
Funny how the mind works and impacts your body eh.
For advice
I can’t say ‘don’t worry’, or ‘relax’ or ‘take your time’, cause everyone is different. (I also know for a fact it didn’t work for me, even though I tried).
But I can say or suggest, that in your troubled times, in your time of uncertainty, take comfort in those around you. Those surrounding you with love and reassuring words. Find relief in the certainty that they’ll be there for you and you can rely on them.
That’s surely what I did.
And if you’re in a position where you feel like you don’t have that. Take comfort in knowing you’ll get yourself through it. Some how. Some where. But you will.
The good news is though, my whole thing worked out 😀
Nothing I worried about came to fruition.
And in the end, it worked out how I originally thought it would – flawless.
The worry seemed to be for nothing, but I guess, at least I was prepared?
Have you ever felt yourself stressed to the point of a constant worry and anxiousness? What was your situation? How/who helped you to cope? If you feel comfortable enough I’d love to hear!
Yours truly,
Global Gyal
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